Declutter Your Mind: Enhancing Emotional Intelligence and Mental Clarity

What if decluttering your mind could recharge your mental battery? Join my guest Kitti Andrews and me as we explore the transformative power of decluttering both your mind and space for heightened emotional intelligence and mental clarity.An international author and speaker specializing in personal decluttering solutions, Kitti brings invaluable insights on how to create a serene and productive environment by decluttering physical and mental spaces, sharing her innovative ONE decluttering system.

Drawing compelling parallels between mental clutter and having multiple web browser tabs open, we delve into practical strategies to maintain a clutter-free environment that fosters mental clarity and productivity. Hear personal anecdotes and actionable tips on prioritizing tasks, keeping spaces like kitchen counters clear, and beginning the day with centering practices like meditation. By organizing our physical and mental spaces, we set the stage for a more focused, efficient, and tranquil life.

The episode also emphasizes emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and clarity of purpose. Jami shares her personal journey of transitioning through various roles and the struggles of maintaining focus amidst life's demands. Kitty discusses the importance of differentiating between what we truly need and what we can discard, highlighting the importance of having a strong "why" to motivate meaningful changes. Concluding with reflections on the significance of creating space for clarity and purpose, we leave you with a reminder to enjoy a lovely, decluttered day. Tune in for practical tips and transformative insights on developing--and maintaining--a clutter-free mind and space.

Show Notes:
Kitti Andrews:
Website:  https://www.declutterthebrain.com/;   

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kitti.andrews.21  

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kitti-andrews-87644055/   

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kittiandrews_mckay/

One One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan: https://the1thing.com/book/

Rumi:
“Today, like every other day, we wake up empty and frightened. Don’t open the door to the study and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument. Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.”

Chapters

• 0:00 Declutter Your Mind for Clarity
• 6:30 Decluttering Your Mind and Space
• 21:37 Clarity Through Decluttering Your Mind
• 31:39 Creating Clarity Through Decluttering
• 47:35 Peaceful Mind Decluttering Reminder

Transcript

Kitti Andrews: 0:00

So just that five minutes just make it hotel-y, as a friend of mine used to say, and many times it won't even take you that five minutes. Eventually you are going to be. I'm going to have to clear this. I'm going to have to clear this, so I'm not even going to put it on the desk, it doesn't need to be here. For example, just take away the coffee cups, whatever. Deceptively simple. However, if it will reduce that, that little bit of frustration and and keep that mental battery, you know the, the battery indicator at the top of your iphone. That is what is happening when you have clutter it's using up extra mental energy and that power bar can go down lickety split if you are careful.

Jami Carlacio: 1:06

Hello and welcome to the podcast. Emotional Intelligence your greatest asset and key to success. I'm your host, dr Jami Carlacio, coming to you from the Greater New Haven, connecticut area, as a positive intelligence, or PQ, coach. I'm committed to helping people develop both emotional intelligence and mental fitness. That is, you'll come to regard problems as situations that help you learn and grow. Pq is a way of being and doing in the world that enables you to develop and sustain a positive relationship with yourself and others, at home, at work and everywhere in between. Please subscribe to this podcast and tap the like button so more people can enjoy the benefits of PQ. And now here's the show. Hello and welcome everybody. Thank you for joining us. We are a little bit late, we had some sound issues and it always seems to be a little bit weird, and doesn't matter how often I log in early, there's a sound issue. So thank you for bearing with me. And thank you, Kitty, for bearing with me.

Jami Carlacio: 2:16

This is Kitti's and my second attempt at recording this podcast, and so she and I talked about how sometimes we're going to talk about clarity today and we're going to talk about what it means to declutter the mind, and that's the topic of today's podcast. But we're going to talk about. What does it mean? How does clarity or lack of clarity relate to emotional intelligence? But before we get into that, a couple things. One is that when we tried to broadcast last week, it was very difficult. I was frazzled, I was running late, I had technical difficulties, kitty had to be somewhere and since I was having such technical difficulties, we decided to postpone the podcast to today. And we discovered that the energy wasn't right and I said well, mercury's been in retrograde, and I don't know how much that means, but I know, for me, for the past month, everything has been upside down and my mind has been completely cluttered. And so you are the perfect, perfect guest today. And before we get into our conversation, I want to introduce you to our wonderful audience, if you are listening or watching.

Jami Carlacio: 3:35

Kitti is an international author and speaker and she's known as the one lady who provides personal decluttering solutions for people who are overwhelmed by their accumulation. And again, that doesn't necessarily mean you are hoarding and that you have a house full of stuff. It can all be up here in this lovely little space in between your ears. And so the idea is that we can thrive in a calm and productive environment when our brain is decluttered, and she helps you do this for life. This isn't just a okay, let's meet next week. It's I'm going to help you do this thing and live this life of clarity.

Jami Carlacio: 4:18

Kitti has produced over 1100 online videos devoted to decluttering the five life pillars and she'll tell us what those are, and she is the CEO of Declutter the Brain, and she has shared step-by-step the one decluttering system O-N-E at events at Stanford and Harvard Universities and on multiple podcasts and in national magazines, including the Los Angeles Tribune and USA Today. And I will have Kitti's information in the show notes. And so thank you, kitty, for your forbearance and your patience and welcome. How are you doing today?

Kitti Andrews: 4:58

Fantastic, so glad that we can do this, and let's give some value. Let's declutter people's brains, shall we?

Jami Carlacio: 5:06

Okay, yes, so as I was doing some research on this I always do research before I go live and I was thinking about what does it mean to have clarity?

Jami Carlacio: 5:19

And in terms of emotional intelligence, clarity can mean a lot of things, but it usually means clarity of who I am, what I'm about, what my values are. It can mean clarity of taking the next right action when my mind is cluttered and I definitely experience symptoms of ADHD and I can't focus very well on one thing at a time. I focus on five. And then when we get into, well, I have Chrome open, I have Firefox open, I have DuckDuckGo open, I have Safari open and within those four browsers, I have multiple tabs and I have several email addresses that I have to check for different parts of my life. And I'm probably making you dizzy just saying all of that, because that's a lot of clutter that I have to sift through every day and I'm wondering if other people have to do that. And what's been your experience in working with people? What kinds of things are they coming to you with and then how do you help them?

Kitti Andrews: 6:26

Excellent question of things are they coming to you with? And then how do you help them? Excellent question. And when you were rhyming off all of those things that you have open, I have many, many tabs open in in chrome and the rest of it. I'm like, how do you do that? I, I, I, I, I can, I can manage the. How many? Jami? One, one search engine. God bless you for being able to manage more than one, and you make an interesting point about it.

Kitti Andrews: 6:56

I wonder if you would agree with me that what you do with these multiple search engines open and the tabs within them, isn't that a lot like our brains? Yes, when we have, I mean even as early as when you're starting your day, you're getting ready, you're brushing your teeth and you start to think did I email that person? Did I write down that I've got to phone that person? By the time you get to your desk, you're tired because you've been using all of this mental energy. And what if there is a way that you can make that subside? Just get it down and get it so that it's manageable. And that's where my one system comes in.

Kitti Andrews: 7:51

Now you asked about people coming to me. They always no one comes to me saying come and declutter my brain. They've done it in jest, uh, you know, occasionally. But basically people think of clutter of as as being physical. What they can see and what we don't realize is often is that physical clutter is a manifestation of mental clutter, and the reverse is also true. So for these last five years that I've been in business, I've been puzzling through which comes first, the physical clutter or the mental clutter, and back and forth, and back and forth, and most of my clients will say it just all seems to go together. Yeah, I'm a perfect example.

Kitti Andrews: 8:49

By Wednesday night I start the week, kitchen counter is pretty much clear and it's to be my place where I put things. So, being ADHD, I've got to put it there so that I will remember. I see it. Okay, that I will remember. I see it. Okay, I will do it. And then by Wednesday night it's starting to get a little cluttered and I'm also not feeling lemony fresh by that time. It's been a busy three days. I will clear most of what I can of that clutter on the on the kitchen counter and Thursday I tell you what I feel like. This breath of fresh energy is is flowing through me Almost like feng shui energy is, you know, flowing through, I've cleared that and just somehow, magically, it all comes together. And that is where we start to go into the five pillars that you were talking about.

Jami Carlacio: 9:50

Okay, that sounds good. You said a lot there, and I want to go back to this chicken and egg thing because I think that's really important thing. I know, for me, when I look at my desk, I see little pieces of paper that are notes that I scribble during a conversation that I don't want to forget. There's a password for another site, yet another password and another site that I have to remember. There's somebody's phone number. There's so many little pieces of paper and sometimes I need to find that little piece of paper and then it's buried under other paper and I will tell my son you need to clean your room. And he will look at my desk and say, mom, you need to clean off your desk. And he's right, he's totally right, though it's like I can't tell him to clean his room, although my room is much cleaner, but my desk isn't. And I realized my desk is a function of all the stuff in my brain that I'm unable to organize, and part of it is maybe not taking the time to prioritize what's going on and what's important Like what do I need to do first?

Jami Carlacio: 11:07

For me, my first priority in the day is meditating and praying, and before we go on, I want to read this little. I don't know if it's a poem, but it's a little saying by Rumi, and this actually really makes sense to me and I try to keep it in mind every morning. "Today, like every other day, we wake up empty and frightened. Don't open the door to the study and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument. Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground, and that, to me, is don't check your email, don't get up and start dealing with whatever X, y, z is. So I don't, because that will get me out of my centeredness. So I think part of the declutter is is getting back to that center.

Jami Carlacio: 12:07

And then I'm present for myself, I'm present for this podcast, I'm present for my son and I'm just really present for the world. And when I'm in run around with my chicken with a head cut off mode, I'm not there for anybody. And that's not emotionally intelligent behavior and that doesn't make me a bad person. It just makes me a person with a lot of mental clutter.

Jami Carlacio: 12:34

So the chicken and egg thing is a difficult question because my desk reflects a lot of what's in my mind and my mind is represented by the top of my desk. And lately, I guess because Mercury's in retrograde, I don't know what it is, but I cleaned out my filing cabinet. I dumped all the paperwork in there that I had saved, that I don't need and I haven't looked at. I have a six month rule. If I haven't used it and looked at it in six months, I probably don't need it, with the exception of a rent contract or a car thing.

Jami Carlacio: 13:07

you know my car you know whatever, but generally speaking. So I cleaned off my dining room table, I cleaned off my desk I'm still working on that but I realized, when I just put things away, I feel better. So, and put the right things away, yes, better and put the right things away.

Kitti Andrews: 13:27

Yes, right, here's the thing, the expression you cannot organize until you declutter. Well, you can, but you're just basically moving stuff that no longer serves you around. You do not need most likely those, unless you're deducting them for your taxes. You do not need most likely those, unless you're deducting them for your taxes. You do not need the power bill from three years ago. You can probably pitch that, yes, there are so many things, would you? But well, I might need it and so you miss. So you hang on to it out of fear. Clutter the acumen, the accumulation of clutter is often fear-based.

Jami Carlacio: 14:20

Well, say more, say more because that's huge. That's huge, Say more.

Kitti Andrews: 14:29

Well, it gets filtered down and away from our depression era parents or grandparents that, well, nothing ever got thrown away, and I'm not saying anything new here, it's all common sense. However, we do forget that it's almost genetic in us. Most of us will either remember our parents slash grandparents saying, uh, saying, or then that that it's um, uh, no, can't throw that away or got to keep it for good. You know, the sunday, the, the dress that you bought for east for easter sunday and you never wore. Well, I've got to keep it for good. Well, so how many easter sundays go by, you don't wear, you don't wear that dress, kind of thing. Or it might come in handy some one of my clients we laugh about it.

Kitti Andrews: 15:22

Expression I swear is it might come in handy someday. She puts this little so that we know that it's a joke. Yes, and sometimes it might, but many times it's just fear, fear of making a decision. Ah yeah To let go, and this, this covers your sentimental items, this covers your power bills. So you don't know what to do, so you do nothing. And that is so common because, frankly, especially now digitally, our lives, our brains are so busy that I think that we spend a good deal of our life now in decision fatigue.

Jami Carlacio: 16:15

Oh yeah, that makes sense. You know there's a lot going on in our world, more so than when our parents were growing up, for sure. You know, if you start thinking about how we are tethered to technology and I think we've allowed ourselves to be available 24, seven or you know, 18, six or whatever. And and I will say we've allowed ourselves because nobody has been holding my feet to the fire, saying Jamie you need to answer email at 10 o'clock at night.

Jami Carlacio: 16:47

I'm the one opening the inbox when, and you know, whatever's going on 10 o'clock at night can wait until eight o'clock the next morning.

Jami Carlacio: 16:58

Absolutely, you know it doesn't need to happen. And if somebody needs me that badly, they can text me and say you need to take care of this. Right now my house is on fire and I need you to bring a fire extinguisher In that case. Yeah, I'll act on that. But generally, you know, and a lot of people will say I'm not available, but I or I don't want a cell phone cause I don't want to be available, it's like turn it off, right.

Jami Carlacio: 17:22

Turn it off turn it on, vibrate, and you know, one thing that I also notice is we're so. We're so feeling like we're beholding to what everyone else needs, whether, whether they do or not, need it from us that we we tend to. That's another way in which we spread ourselves too thin, and I always say drive by the cemetery if you ever think you're that indispensable, because all those people who have died may have been indispensable to somebody, but the world is still going to turn, whether you answer this email or whether you deal with this thing.

Jami Carlacio: 18:06

And I don't want to be flippant, but in general, there are a lot of things I think that at least I'll speak for me, that I do that are not. The world is not spinning on its axis because of me. Right, I'm not the one in charge of the world spinning on its axis. I didn't invent gravity. I have nothing to do with it, I'm just bound by it, and so that also helps keep me in my place. Like, okay, jamie, you are not the center of the universe, it's okay.

Jami Carlacio: 18:37

And when I was teaching, you know, we have students who this day and age, they don't, they don't. They've never known a world without email, they've never known a world without a cell phone. They've never known a world without instantaneous everything Correct. You know, the only thing that was instantaneous in our lives was coffee and it was Sanka and it was awful. But generally, you know, they would email me. Students, students are up late and they sleep late, so they would email me at one in the morning and ask me a question. It's like, dude, really, I am not checking my email at one in the morning. I do draw the line at that, but we live in that world where everyone needs to be everywhere at once.

Kitti Andrews: 19:22

So yeah, yeah, I don't check my, it is. Oh, someone will say well, I just sent you an email five minutes ago. Uh-huh Email at after. Oh, you mentioned my videos. After all my content is done because I also publish a daily newsletter. There are things that have to come before emails and messages. And basically, what are intrusions? I put that into my intrusion category.

Jami Carlacio: 20:02

They're lovely intrusions.

Kitti Andrews: 20:04

I don't want to say that I don't want people to email and message me I hate using message as messages of her but whatever the other way where I'll do my content for it very early, and then there there's still another category of work that I want to do, but I think, okay, well, uh, I should check. I'll just quickly check the emails and my Facebook group and what I find is all of those words, all of those words. It's like a million people talking to me at once and I feel like I should be answering them all. I'm too tired after half an hour of doing that to go back to what requires the concentration. So I now have a new rule, and this is shared, this is not only my own. Brendan Burchard same deal. Darren Hardy same deal leave all of the quote distractions until you have done your one thing that is crucial to your business or your family or what have you. Make sure that that one thing gets done. As you just said, the rest of the world will wait.

Jami Carlacio: 21:28

Yes.

Kitti Andrews: 21:29

Unless their house is on fire.

Jami Carlacio: 21:31

Right in which case they need the extinguisher. Now you know I that I want to come back to that. I think that is perhaps the most important thing about emotional intelligence. It's the self-awareness. You know, where am I? Who do I want to be in the world?

Jami Carlacio: 21:46

I have to ask myself who do I want to be? And then what does it mean to live into that? And this might mean taking that time out in the morning for my son or for myself, or for my spiritual life, or whatever it is that makes me tick and be in the world.

Jami Carlacio: 22:08

And it is a Herculean feat for me to do that. I have to admit it is hard. I have to work really hard at it. It's not like well, I said I'm going to do it, it's easy. So just letting you know everybody it's not easy. And if you think it is, please come on the show and help us figure that out, because we love that magic bullet, thank you very much. But that's the key right to emotional intelligence having that clarity, clarity of vision, clarity of mind, clarity of purpose. And I know, when I stopped being a professor I knew I had to go to divinity school and that was a clear purpose and I didn't do anything else, I just went to divinity school. I didn't have another job. I tried and it was a disaster in technicolor, trying to teach and go to divinity school.

Jami Carlacio: 23:02

And so I had to leave, I had to quit something and because I was being pulled in too many directions, I wasn't being a good mom, I wasn't being a good student, I wasn't a good seminarian and I I wasn't being a good mom, I wasn't being a good student, I wasn't a good seminarian and I certainly wasn't being a good teacher, because I was trying to do too many things. So when I, when I basically put seminary first and I did that for four years I was okay. And then when I was a chaplain, that was what I did. That's what I did every day. I got up, that was what I did. That's what I did every day. I got up, did my morning routine and I went to a hospital and was a hospital chaplain.

Jami Carlacio: 23:36

And that was my singleness of purpose. What happened was when I left my chaplaining position and went into business for myself. Then, all of a sudden, I became scattered, I lost structure and I went through a period where I didn't know who I was or what I was supposed to be doing, who I was supposed to be helping. And I think I also forgot to check in with myself and ask am I helping, jamie? Who are you now, jamie? Who are you trying to be? Who are you being asked to be?

Kitti Andrews: 24:18

So tell me about the O-N-E. Okay, that's a terrific segue to what you were. From what you were just saying. You, you lost sight of your one thing and in fact, gary keller wrote a book about and called the one thing years ago. And it's it. It's part, this is partly what I base everything that I do on my my, everything that I teach my clients is my one system. Now, from a physical clutter point of view and this is how I started, it was it's one room at a time, one area of that room at a time and one thing at a time. Do we have time for me to quickly go through it?

Jami Carlacio: 25:11

Sure, Absolutely.

Kitti Andrews: 25:12

Okay, so one room at a time is basically just that, and what I mean by that is pick one room and stick with it, as opposed to the natural tendency monkey brain alert. Okay, I'll do a little bit in the office. I'll do a little bit in the office. I'll do a little bit in the spare room. I'll come back to the office. Frankly, from a purely practical point of view, by the time you come back to the office you've forgotten exactly where you were. It's like an actor. You have to get back into character and get that momentum going. But if you stick with that one, then it's like the little engine that could. That I'm sure you read to your son. You know, I think I can, I think whoa, yeah, we're just rolling right along here Yep.

Kitti Andrews: 26:04

One area of that room at a time. Same exact principle pick a corner and stick with it. Here's where it gets. Interesting is because it's a smaller area. Not only do you stay in character, you start to see the results.

Jami Carlacio: 26:28

Yeah.

Kitti Andrews: 26:28

Start to see the results of what you're doing. You see it more quickly by sticking with that one area. And what does that do? That fuels your confidence. It fuels your self-esteem, because many people will not start to declutter because, well, I've done it before and it all came back, or I never, know where to start.

Kitti Andrews: 26:50

Or my partner just looks at me and says, yeah right, nice huh, anyway, that's, that's for another movie. Uh, just pick one area and stick with it, is it easy? No, it isn't. But boy, I tell you once, once you do it, it's. It just makes all the difference in the world.

Kitti Andrews: 27:10

And then we get to the one thing, not the book, one thing at a time. And is it tedious? Yes, it can be. Is it time consuming? Yes, I'm afraid it is. However, is it the number one way that you can train your brain so that clutter will not come back into your home? Absolutely, and I've got a terrific example for you.

Kitti Andrews: 27:40

Let's hear it my very first client, january 2019. She has a huge L-shaped desk. She's a business person. Huge L-shaped desk, which is a business person. Huge L-shaped desk and it is not a word of a lie, jamie about eight inches tall of paper all over. You couldn't see the color of the desk unless you looked like this.

Kitti Andrews: 28:10

And her why she wanted to do it was was strong, because you always need to have a good why, a good reason. And her why was that? She had hired an assistant, a come in assistant, not a virtual. And, um, she said, the lady is gonna have nowhere to work. We have to clear and I don't know where to start. So, first day, first client, I had never done virtual decluttering before. I'd always done it in the home. So I did what made sense. I said, okay, well, let's start with this pile in front of you. What's this first piece of paper? And she looks at me like I'm from venus and she says you have your mind, we are not going through all of this piece by piece. No, well, I'd already taken her money. I didn't know what else to do, so I'm kind of sweating bullets there, as you can probably imagine. And then she relented and she said okay, well, we'll, we'll give it a whirl. And so she starts going through and within about five minutes she says why do I have utility bills? I do not need utility bills. Why do I have bank statements? My accountant does not. You see my hand going here. My accountant does not need bank statements and, besides, I can get all of this online.

Kitti Andrews: 29:37

Exactly so it went through with this. She started to see what there was, see what I mean about going through one at a time. It started going really, really fast because she realized that, whoa, I don't need this now here. Here here is the icing on the cake about oh yes, we threw, we threw away uh, uh, trade magazine.

Kitti Andrews: 30:08

She had six or eight trade magazines that, uh, frankly, they weren't cheap. They were about eight bucks a pop that she had never read. They just sat there and they went and they got outdated. It was you know technology, it was outdated magazines. And she said you know what? I was in the store and wait for it. My hand automatically reached for that magazine, same as I do every time I'm in that store and she said wait a minute now I just threw away the best part of 50, bucks on these things. I'll get it next month yeah, less clutter coming in. And that would not have happened, I firmly believe, if she hadn't gone through it slowly and I don't mean it to snail's pace, I mean slowly, methodically. Her brain had a chance to work with it with the input that was coming in, with the input of a utility you know telling Abel Bankerville Magazine. Okay, her brain was able to process all of this and reach out to the universe and say do I really need this? How do I avoid the clutter coming back in? What?

Jami Carlacio: 31:36

do you see to?

Kitti Andrews: 31:36

that.

Jami Carlacio: 31:37

That's awesome. And so what I hear is, once she saw what she had been doing, what she'd been saving, even without thinking about it, she realized that there wasn't a lot of purpose in saving a lot of the stuff she was saving. But you know, there's no reason to keep a utility bill from six months ago unless you have to provide six months worth of utility bills to somebody. But again, you can go online to your utility company and get that.

Jami Carlacio: 32:08

And I I've been signing up for like paperless everything, because the last thing I want is more paper in my email, in my inbox or my mailbox, because, a I think it's useless and it's a waste of trees and B they're just going to sit on my desk anyway and I'm probably not going to need them. So I try to go paperless. But I like that. She started developing a new way of thinking about what she needs and what she doesn't need, or how to differentiate between things she had to have physical copies of and things she did not need to have physical copies of need to have physical copies of, and so that again goes to that deliberation. But the very first piece of it was willingness, and sometimes our willingness comes from desperation, right?

Jami Carlacio: 32:58

Or exasperation, like I can't do this anymore. Very few people change until they are forced to change.

Kitti Andrews: 33:07

Oh, absolutely A strong. That's where your strong why comes in. Somebody says to me, because there's an interview process to work with me. And I don't want to work with somebody who isn't motivated, who doesn't have a strong why Is their money just as good as anyone else's? Absolutely it is. However, if they don't have a strong why then they won't work as hard at it, same like working with you. If they don't have a strong why to incorporate what you are teaching, then they're not going to work at it and you're not going to feel good about what you're doing. I just went off on a big because we often, you know, we often just do things without thinking Right, we run on autopilot, but if we can stop?

Jami Carlacio: 34:17

I interviewed Matt Barifato a few weeks ago and we talked about the purpose driven life and it's very easy to just kind of go through your day and I'm going to do this, and I'm going to do that, and I have to be here, and I have to be there and I have to cook dinner or whatever. And pretty soon the week went by and you're like what did I do? Who did I talk to? Who did I reach out to today? And I was reading something I get in my inbox. I get things from the theologian Henry Nowen, and one of them was on writing letters and it said you know what? There's something special about writing a letter to somebody. There's just something special about getting a piece of mail and just letting people know how are you.

Jami Carlacio: 35:05

It's my birthday today, by the way. Yay, I was born on the anniversary of women's suffrage, august 26, 1920. So we've been celebrating suffrage for 104 years here in the United States, and while other people, who shall be not named, have been enjoying it since the Constitution was written in 1789, but we won't go there. Anyway, women have it, please use it. I will say this I don't care if I'm being political here, but please, if you have the right to vote and you are old enough to vote, register yourself and go vote, and if you need help, ask somebody to help you. But please vote, please vote. It is so important to exercise that constitutional right because when people don't vote and then they get an outcome they don't like, well I have to say did you vote? Did?

Jami Carlacio: 36:01

you go try to, you know, do something. Don't think your vote doesn't count, it counts it adds up, it does.

Kitti Andrews: 36:11

uh, I even used to um, how many people do we know who, exactly what you said? And they say, well, no, and they come up with some excuse. The cat had a hangnail, kind of thing.

Jami Carlacio: 36:32

Yeah, yeah, but you're right.

Kitti Andrews: 36:37

And my vote won't change anything. And they're all a bunch of crooks, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Well, you know what you and 500 other people that feel the same way can sway at least in a municipal election? So multiply that 500 people in every, every one of, in every US city.

Jami Carlacio: 37:00

I'm in Canada so that's why I'm specifying US. She's from Nova Scotia, by the way, and yes, that's in Canada, way on the other side in Atlantic time.

Kitti Andrews: 37:08

Absolutely. And you multiply that 500 by every major US city, that starts to turn into some numbers that can sway the I guess not the electoral college, but anyway you have a different system. But what I'm trying to say is that it does add up just the same. As you're going to like this clutter, yes.

Jami Carlacio: 37:37

No, it all does Right. And so, again, it goes down to for me, I have to always ask myself the question am I doing? Am I being the person I want to be? Am I doing and being the person that I feel that I was created to be? And no, I don't. You know, I'm not going to save the world, but for me, I feel like that I have a divine purpose and I just need to listen to it, and that's why I have to make space for that every day. I have to make space for that because that's where I start getting that clarity.

Jami Carlacio: 38:15

And, yes, like everybody else, I've got 64,000 thoughts competing for my attention in any given day, 60,000 of which repeat themselves on a daily basis. But the point is stop, take that breath and say wait a minute. Is this going to be for my highest good? Is this thing going to be for Kitty's highest good? And if it means clearing off my desk and just making space for what needs to be there, whatever I do on my desk is going to free stuff up here. So it isn't like oh you know, it's going to benefit my son by clearing off my desk. Well, it will. It will, because it really is clearing things up between my ears.

Kitti Andrews: 39:02

Indirectly, it is benefiting him, it's benefiting your clients, it's benefiting our audience. It can do only one thing and that is benefit Used correctly thing. And that is benefit, yeah, used used correctly, uh. And people can go overboard with having absolutely nothing, but not as many people have that as as the cluttered them. And clutter, uh, you almost feel like, oh, it means that I'm really, really busy and that's fine, there's busy, and then there's busy on the right things. And while we're talking about the desk, would you be interested in one? How many, how many? Jamie?

Jami Carlacio: 39:52

How many what?

Kitti Andrews: 39:56

One hint that I have, oh, yeah, one hint that I have to give you. It is, and it's so deceptively simple Take five minutes at the end of every day, of every work day, and make it just. Give it a quick, tidy, make it the way that you want. You want to walk into it so that you're you're starting your day and this is part of the mental clutter thing is, how would you rather walk into your desk at 8 am, in my case, 5, 30 am? That's the way I roll and go oh hey, this looks good, computer goes on, or walk in and go all right, and can you feel the energy? Can you feel the difference in the energy?

Jami Carlacio: 40:56

Oh yeah, versus Right, energy yeah, oh yeah, versus right, right, and you start off behind the eight ball and then you're like I don't even know where to start right yeah, make it up.

Kitti Andrews: 41:12

so just that five minutes just make it um, the make it hotel-y, as a friend of mine used to say. And many times it won't even take you that five minutes. Eventually you are going to be. I'm going to have to clear this. I'm going to have to clear this, so I'm not even going to put it on the desk, it doesn't need to be here. For example, Just take away the coffee cups, whatever. Again, deceptively simple. However, if it will reduce that little bit of frustration and keep that mental battery you know the battery indicator at the top of your iPhone- Well that is what is happening when you have clutter it's using up extra mental energy and that power bar can go down lickety split if you're careful.

Jami Carlacio: 42:11

You know, yes, and I know that my computer, if I'm on battery power and have too many browsers open, my computer, if I'm on battery power and have too many browsers open, the battery goes down right. So it's the same thing. And it's the same thing in your car If you leave stuff on and you're not charging it, the battery's going to die. And I even think about my kitchen and I think I have dishes in the sink. It will take me a few minutes to do those dishes. And I think I have dishes in the sink. It will take me a few minutes to do those dishes. And I will feel so much better in the morning when I come out to get my coffee and find that the only thing on my counter is my coffee pot and my coffee cup and my water and not dirty dishes.

Jami Carlacio: 42:52

So even just saying I don't feel like doing these, but if I just do them now, I will feel so much better and it never takes as long as I think.

Kitti Andrews: 43:03

Correct by now. Your audience, our audience, whether they're live or recorded, they're realizing that, if they didn't know it already, many people just already know this, many people just already know this.

Kitti Andrews: 43:18

But the reminders of just being reminded that it only takes a few simple steps. However, there's one thing that is key, and that is don't bother trying to. Yes, you can do it, but it's a waste of time to organize before you declutter, because what are you doing? You're basically just pushing the ghosts of the past around and not dealing with them, because that falls under your category of emotional intelligence as well. Dealing with the now. Chances are that there's a song there somewhere. Chances are that there are things in your home that really shouldn't be there, ghosts of people past, as it were, things that you're hanging on to because you feel guilty. Here's a real quick example, if we have time.

Jami Carlacio: 44:21

Just a couple minutes, so yeah.

Kitti Andrews: 44:23

Okay, it's short. One client. She trucked a dining room set over to three states in three moves and when we worked together she called it the basement of despair. And what it was was we got through some of the boxes and then she said what do I do about this table? Turns out it had belonged to a grandmother of hers that frankly, with all due respect to the dear lady, nobody really liked, and Pam inherited it and she kept it because and moved it around because she felt guilty to get rid of it. I said this is just dragging you down the very next. And so she got somebody to cart it upstairs the very next day. Somebody down the street was the proud new owner and Pam was absolutely delighted with this extra space. So look around and see what could be holding you back, right.

Jami Carlacio: 45:25

Turn it over Right. And again, a lot of it's fear-based and I don't know if I should let go. It could be guilt, it could just be shame. You know we hang on to things that maybe we think it'll be different next time or whatever. I mean, I'm thinking of emotional clutter too, and it is time to maybe just take stock of what's there. And you know, as we say, in a 12-step program we do a fearless and moral inventory, fearless and thorough, and it isn't about beating yourself up and I have to say that and I emphasize it. It is not about taking your own inventory and beating yourself up and calling yourself a bad person or this or that.

Jami Carlacio: 46:10

It isn't that at all. It's about looking at what's on the shelf and saying is this working, do we need it? And saying is this working, do we need it or does it need to go? Is it outdated, is it broken, is it defective? If so, then you know it needs to go. It's not helping, it's not getting you through the day, it's not. It's not helping you do your job. It's not serving you as a person or serving you and, vicariously, all of the other people you serve. And that has also helped me is, if this isn't serving me, why am I holding on to it? So then I have to ask okay, so what's going on underneath that? Because it's never just up here, is it? It's always under here.

Kitti Andrews: 46:50

That's right. That's right. Even something as simple as a belief that's holding you back.

Jami Carlacio: 46:57

Yeah, exactly, exactly so. You've been awesome. Thank you so much for being patient and bringing your wonderful, wonderful, clear mental energy to this conversation, and I am going to get the name of that book. You mentioned One Day or One Thing.

Kitti Andrews: 47:20

The One Thing by Gary Cowher. Yes, I'm promoting someone else's book. That's okay, it's good.

Jami Carlacio: 47:25

And I'll put that in the show notes because, obviously, if it helped you, it's probably going to help other people. Yes, yes, yeah. So stay tuned. Kitty reminded me of a great song that can maybe put us in the right mood to close out this. So stay tuned. Kitty reminded me of a great song that can maybe put us in the right mood to close out this. So stay tuned.

Kitti Andrews: 47:46

Imagine all the people living life in peace you.

Jami Carlacio: 48:06

You may say I'm a dreamer. I love John Lennon. So thank you again, kitty. Thank you so much. Kitty's info will be in the show notes. If you are looking to declutter your mind, she's the person to go to. So thank you. All right, take care and see you all. It's PQ, jim, remember. Please like and subscribe to this podcast, because the more people like and subscribe, the more popular it gets and the more people can see it or listen to it. So thank you for your support and have a lovely decluttered day. Bye.