Rewrite Your Reality! The Path to Emotional Healing and Personal Miracles

Reality interventionist Shiraz Babu joins us to unravel the complex connection between subconscious beliefs and physical well-being. Once a promising medical student turned arthritis sufferer, Shiraz's inspirational journey led him to uncover the transformative power of addressing deep-seated beliefs, a discovery that changed his life. Together, we explore the profound impact of rewriting our reality and how recognizing these hidden narratives can be a powerful catalyst for overcoming challenges like illness and addiction.

Have you ever found yourself addicted to the struggle? This episode challenges the notion that self-worth is tied to external achievements, drawing on personal stories of exhaustion from the relentless pursuit of success. We discuss how shifting our focus to inherent self-value can liberate us from this cycle and lead to more fulfilling lives. With insights into the “inner drug store” and emotional addiction, we highlight how changing our mindset can lead to sustained growth and happiness, even during life's most challenging moments.

Join us as we showcase the miracle that unfolds when personal development is prioritized. We share practical strategies for speeding up the book writing process and discuss how embracing positive addiction can retrain our brains for healthier rewards. This episode is a treasure trove for anyone looking to embark on a transformative journey of self-improvement, loaded with real stories, practical advice, and the promise of personal miracles.

Chapters

• 0:00 Rewriting Reality and Emotional Intelligence
• 3:51 Uncovering Reality and Healing Illness
• 16:53 The Addiction to Struggle
• 23:44 Addiction to Emotion and Rewriting Reality
• 27:18 Accelerating Book Writing Process Through Workshops
• 32:45 The Journey to Self-Improvement
• 40:12 Miracle Magnet Transformation Through Magic

Transcript

Shiraz Baboo: 0:00

And your mind avoids emotional distress. It does not care about physical circumstances, so it will do anything it can to get you out of emotional distress, including kill you. So in this case we're talking about illness. If I'm sick in bed, I have a legitimate excuse as to why I can't help people, so there's no way I can feel guilty. So that was escaping the emotional distress.

Shiraz Baboo: 0:36

As far as that shift in will, I've always been a person that's like on logic, which is because what I do now is very, very spiritual. But when he said A equals B, then I'm like oh well, then I just have to do this to eliminate that. And in my mind it's like okay, stop being responsible, Just be clear on that. You're not going to be responsible for anyone. If he's right, your authority should go away. Now in my mind, I'm thinking if he's right and I do this, then over the course of the next few months or years, everything will just slowly go away and I'll end up back where I started, Not oh you know what Next morning we're done Now, to be clear, the damage done to my body was still there.

Shiraz Baboo: 1:22

The arthritis itself just disappeared. My body was still there, the arthritis itself just disappeared, and that's an important thing, because sometimes we get miracles and sometimes we have to go on a journey. Getting rid of the arthritis was the miracle. Repairing my body is a journey. It's a journey I'm still on, but I'm getting more and more mobility as the years go by. So that's the thing, and I'm willing to go through that journey, however long it takes. If you keep looking for the miracles, you don't tend to get them. If you're willing to go on the journey, the miracles drop along the way. Miracles drop along the way.

Jami Carlacio: 2:08

Welcome to the podcast Emotional Intelligence your greatest asset and key to success. I'm your host, dr Jamie Carlaccio, coming to you from the Greater New Haven, connecticut area, as an emotional intelligence or EQ coach. I'm committed to helping people develop both emotional intelligence and mental fitness. That is, you'll come to regard problems as situations that help you learn and grow. Eq is a way of being and doing in the world that enables you to develop and sustain a positive relationship with yourself and others, at home, at work and everywhere in between. Please subscribe to this podcast and tap the like button so more people can enjoy the benefits of EQ.

Jami Carlacio: 2:52

And now here's the show. Hello everybody, Welcome, and thank you so much for joining us today. I am excited because I have a fabulous guest. His name is Shiraz Babu, and he is going to talk to us a little bit about rewriting reality, because, yes, you can rewrite your reality. You do not have to be stuck in this narrative that is keeping you down, and I hear it all the time.

Jami Carlacio: 3:18

People are down on themselves and down on life and they think that's the only reality, when in fact it's not. And what I really like and I know Shiraz is going to talk a lot about this is that we are addicted to a certain narrative, and when we are addicted to something, our brain wants more of it, and so how do we stop that? To change the trajectory of our thinking and change the trajectory of our life. Change the trajectory of our life. But before I go on, I want to tell you just a couple of things about Shiraz.

Jami Carlacio: 3:51

Shiraz is a multi-award-winning author, international speaker and reality interventionist. Now that is the best job title I have heard in a long time. He's known for helping people rewrite their reality and overcome challenges in their lives. He has helped thousands and I'm telling you, he has helped thousands of people overcome illness, poverty and unconsciously addicted struggles, and a lot of times our addictions are unconscious. If we knew a lot about what we are actually addicted to, I think a lot of us would probably be calling you and your phone would never stop ringing. Yeah.

Jami Carlacio: 4:32

So, overall pardon.

Shiraz Baboo: 4:34

That's what caller ID is for.

Jami Carlacio: 4:35

Yeah right, exactly. He is a renowned personality in the area of reality addiction, and his book how to Rewrite Reality has changed lives across the globe. So thank you so much for joining us today. How are you?

Shiraz Baboo: 4:51

I am wonderful. How are you?

Jami Carlacio: 4:52

I'm well, thank you. I am well because I have also learned how to rewrite my reality, and I did it without meeting you, although I still recommend you because a lot of people don't realize that I work in the addiction field. So when Kimberly Crow told me about you, I wanted to meet you and find out a little bit more about what you do, because a lot of people live in this box, and this box is extremelyining and I hear day in and day out from people I'm just going to go back to it, or I can't stop, or nothing matters, or everything I do turns to blank, or I can't change. And it is really really hard to hear that, especially as someone who has changed, and I have completely done a 180 in my life, and so I know I'm living proof, and I guess you are too, and so are a lot of people that we know. And so tell us a little bit about how you came into this field and a little bit more about what the problem is and how you solve it.

Shiraz Baboo: 6:03

Okay, and a little bit more about what the problem is and how you solve it. Okay, how I came into this field was because when I was 22 years old, I was in university, I studied to be a doctor and I was a bodybuilder. I was in the best shape of my life so I thought I had it all. I knew what I was going to do with my life. The world was my oyster. Except the world didn't give me pearls. It gave me arthritis. So I ended up with arthritis in every single joint in my body. So, to give you an idea, there were nights where I would sip my dinner through a straw because my jaw was so swollen and painful. So it was every joint.

Jami Carlacio: 6:41

Wow.

Shiraz Baboo: 6:42

Yeah, and you know, and I did what people would do. I tried medication, didn't work. I tried supplements, I tried diet. That didn't work. I started trying things like yoga, meditation, acupuncture. Nothing worked and, like people may not have gone through that kind of physical pain like I did, but if you've had that plan for your life, you think everything's set, you know what you're going to do, and then suddenly that's all ripped out from under you, you, you know what I experienced in that time Sounds like you hit a real bottom too it sounds like you hit a real bottom too.

Shiraz Baboo: 7:23

Oh yeah, I was depressed, I was angry, I felt hopeless. At times, the questions are coming up why did this happen to me, what did I do to deserve this? And, of course, what am I supposed to do now? I eventually changed careers to computers because I could sit, not have to move around a lot, because that always caused pain. And I continued with my life still searching for a way to get out of this, but it wasn't until 18 years of this had passed by 18 years of misery and suffering.

Shiraz Baboo: 8:01

And yeah, and by that point I was walking, I was was about 40 years old and I was walking like I was 70, like hunched over and just shuffling along, and and uh, I talked to my father and I said, is there anything that we haven't tried yet or something new that's come up? And he said, well, I've just heard recently about a program over in india, combined therapy and I'm like what the hell is that? He goes. I'm not sure what they do, but they've had success with multiple illnesses. I'm like what do you mean? Multiple illnesses Like cancer, diabetes, arthritis? Like why aren't they being like touted worldwide? Like that makes no sense if they're curing everything? He goes. I don't know. I just I've heard about, heard about it. It comes highly recommended.

Shiraz Baboo: 8:45

So I jump on a plane and I head over to india wow and I met with this guy and I figured it's india, it's probably going to be some sort of reiki energy healing kind of thing and, and you know I was open to that.

Shiraz Baboo: 8:59

I was like open to anything at this point it's not working and all he did was talk to me for like about two weeks and it was almost like being with a psychiatrist. He wasn't trying to solve anything, he was just gathering all this information on my life. And after the two weeks he says Shiraz, you believe you're responsible for everyone in your life. Like no, I don't. That's ridiculous. And he said oh, I know you don't think you do, but from everything you've told me, you created this belief that you need to be responsible for everyone else, and you did when you were about eight years old.

Jami Carlacio: 9:37

Kind of sounds codependent.

Shiraz Baboo: 9:40

It does, except the other people didn't realize that I was responsible for them.

Jami Carlacio: 9:46

Yeah.

Shiraz Baboo: 9:47

One-sided. So if my friends weren't doing well, I felt responsible and I should be the one to come in and save them and fix them.

Jami Carlacio: 9:54

Wow.

Shiraz Baboo: 9:55

Right Any one of my family. If they're struggling, I had to be the one to save them. And so that was the belief. I didn't think I had it. He seemed to think I had it and so I said even if I have it, what does that have to do with arthritis? There's no connection. That's, you know, feeling responsible. This is illness. And he said oh, you don't want to be responsible for everyone. I said, of course. I said and if you're lying in bed in pain, you don't want to be responsible for everyone? I said, of course. I said and if you're lying in bed in pain, you don't have to be responsible for anyone and you don't have to feel guilty about it. When people see you struggle to get through your days, they're not going to ask you to take care of them. Your arthritis isn't your problem, it's your solution.

Jami Carlacio: 10:41

Say more. Say more because right now I'm dealing with sciatica and it's real physical pain, but I know there's something mental going on with me.

Shiraz Baboo: 10:51

There's always something, because it's all about emotions. So when he said that, first of all I thought well, that's completely messed up. Why would I do that to myself?

Jami Carlacio: 11:03

Right, Exactly.

Shiraz Baboo: 11:04

And he said but that's what most chronic illnesses are. They're solutions for problems people don't realize they have. And so I said okay, if what you're saying is true, then all I have to do is say I'm not going to be responsible for anyone else and the arthritis should just go away. I'm not really believing this, but I'm just going through the logic. And he said yes, if you actually believe it deep down that you don't need to be responsible for anyone else, you don't need the arthritis. So I said okay, I'm not going to be responsible for anyone, except for me. When I woke up the next morning, there was no pain, there was no inflammation, I had more mobility and I could even breathe easier.

Jami Carlacio: 11:57

And so I have a question, because you went to bed one night and said, all right, I'm not going to be responsible. But that requires a major shift in thinking.

Shiraz Baboo: 12:10

Yeah.

Jami Carlacio: 12:11

So how did you accomplish that really major shift in thinking? And then I still I need some clarification, and maybe others will too. How does your arthritis present the solution?

Shiraz Baboo: 12:28

Because if I can't take care of people, I feel guilty and your mind avoids emotional distress.

Jami Carlacio: 12:40

Okay.

Shiraz Baboo: 12:40

It does not care about physical circumstances, so it will do anything it can to get you out of emotional distress, including kill you.

Jami Carlacio: 12:50

Yes.

Shiraz Baboo: 12:51

Right, so in this case we're talking about illness. Yeah, if I'm sick in bed, I have a legitimate excuse as to why I can't help people, so there's no way I can feel guilty.

Jami Carlacio: 13:03

Ah, yeah.

Shiraz Baboo: 13:06

So that was escaping the emotional distress.

Jami Carlacio: 13:09

I love it. I love it.

Shiraz Baboo: 13:11

As far as that shift in will, I've always been a person that's like on logic, because what I do now is very, very spiritual. But yeah when he said A equals B, then I'm like, oh well, then I just have to do this to eliminate that.

Shiraz Baboo: 13:29

And in my mind it's like okay, stop being responsible, just be clear on that. You're not going to be responsible for anyone. If he's right, yours already should go away. Now in my mind I'm thinking if he's right and I do this, then over the course of the next few months or years, everything will just slowly go away and I'll end up back where I started.

Shiraz Baboo: 13:48

Not oh, you know what Next morning we're done. Now, to be clear, the damage done to my body was still there. The arthritis itself just disappeared. The arthritis itself just disappeared, right, and that's an important thing, because sometimes we get miracles and sometimes we have to go on a journey.

Shiraz Baboo: 14:12

Yes, getting rid of the arthritis was the miracle. Repairing my body is a journey. It's a journey I'm still on, but I'm getting more and more mobility as the years go by. So that's the thing, and I'm willing to go through that journey, however long it takes. If you keep looking for the miracles, you don't tend to get them. If you're willing to go on the journey, the miracles drop along the way.

Jami Carlacio: 14:41

Yes, that makes complete sense. A lot of people just want to get to wherever that is some chimerical, fantabulous place, and they don't want to have to go from A to Z. They don't want to have to kind of go through the Monopoly board and hit all the properties.

Jami Carlacio: 14:59

Yeah, exactly monopoly board and hit all the properties. Yeah, exactly, you know, and I agree, I'm a Reiki master and so when I take people on a Reiki meditation journey, we spend time on the journey and then I actually have the light, take them on the journey and the whole point of it is the journey. It isn't getting anywhere. We're not going anywhere. We're not going to have a pot of gold at the end of any rainbow, we're just going to go on a journey and when they come back they are completely different people, at least for that time being.

Shiraz Baboo: 15:39

Yep, and that is getting to. The next point is addiction. So oftentimes people will do a journey like that and they'll come back and they'll be transformed.

Jami Carlacio: 15:53

Yes.

Shiraz Baboo: 15:55

If they don't allow for the fact that your body has been addicted to a different state physically addicted then what happens with a lot of people is they slide back to the original state.

Jami Carlacio: 16:08

The body is looking for that homeostasis, right. It wants to go back like wait a minute, this doesn't feel right. This is different. Let me go back to that thing, even if that thing is bad.

Shiraz Baboo: 16:19

Yeah, even if it sucks, I'm used to it. Let's just keep going. And when you get that your body wants to be addicted to something, right, then that's when things really change. Like, well, I guess the first thing is realize that you are addicted. Number two is realize that it wants to be addicted. Because what a lot of people do is they try to get rid of the addiction. And if you get rid of the addiction, your body's like well then, what else? Well, I need a fix. Where's I'm?

Jami Carlacio: 16:44

going to get my fix.

Shiraz Baboo: 16:45

If you say I'm going to replace this addiction with this addiction, then your body can get a different fix.

Jami Carlacio: 16:52

Right.

Shiraz Baboo: 16:53

Right. So, for instance, one of the addictions I used to have was feeling so good after I've worked really hard to accomplish something. It's like, look, I stayed up all night doing that. I felt good. Look how you know what I'm willing to go through, what I'm willing to put myself through to really accomplish a lot, and that was a fix. And so I would be working long nights I'd be doing even though it wasn't too long ago, just a few years ago I would do something called last Mondays. Last Mondays, I would do a series of webinars, starting at 9am, finishing at 11pm.

Jami Carlacio: 17:26

Oh, that's a long day.

Shiraz Baboo: 17:29

I felt good at the end of that day. I was like, look what I did. I did it was like seven different webinars through the day, right and gave all sorts of value. And now I'm like I only did it once a month, thank God, the last Monday of the month. But after a year of that I was just like I'm exhausted. So I decided to change my fix to wow, I barely had to put any effort into that and it came out great.

Jami Carlacio: 17:55

Yes, that's what we were talking about. Right Is changing what it is. That is your fix. Like, uh, tell this story about the guy that you helped, the client who was yeah, the problem solver. You know we look for problems and so our our, you know our, our lizard brain says up, got to check for danger everywhere, got to check for danger. And then we invent problems just so we can solve them.

Shiraz Baboo: 18:23

Yeah, because if you identify as a problem solver, if you take pride in being a problem solver, then what you're basically saying is my value in this world comes from solving problems. Right, and if you want to feel more valuable, you have to keep creating more and or bigger problems to solve. So he had problems going on every single day and he was just so done with it. He's like every day there's something that comes up, problem after problem after problem. He's like I'm used to it at work, but it's in my personal life At work, it's my whole job of solving problems. And so then we found out he sees himself as a problem solver. I got him to get to a different state, in that your value doesn't come from problem solving. You just have value, and solving problems is one way you can express it, but it's not what gives you value.

Jami Carlacio: 19:18

A lot of people do not believe they have inherent value, and so I think we're a society of doers, because we keep thinking if I do that thing, I'll have value. If I'm that perfect person, I'll have value. If I have to solve people's problems, or if I have to take care of everyone, then I'll have value. I used to think that my value came from outside of me, and I had a shift about two and a half years ago, and it changed everything for me when I finally figured out that my value didn't come from outside of doing things.

Shiraz Baboo: 19:57

I'm so happy for you.

Jami Carlacio: 20:00

It took a minute. I'm not a spring chicken, but better late than never.

Shiraz Baboo: 20:06

Yes, absolutely. And this thing, this is what we get taught by our parents, and I find it fascinating because when we're babies, our parents see all our value. We feel the value. You can feel the value coming off a newborn baby. It's like oh, oh, my god, there's so much potential in this child, there's so much value. I hope this child goes on to do amazing things. And then you're like teenagers and it's like why don't you go make something of yourself?

Jami Carlacio: 20:31

I have a teenager and I'm thinking, oh dear, have I ruined him for life?

Shiraz Baboo: 20:35

so if you start teaching your, your children, that they inherently have value they just have to find ways to express it You're going to have a different outlook on yeah Right and so the? The trick is getting to that space of knowing you have value without getting to a place of entitlement. Well, I have value, you should have. Everything should just be done Well there's that too.

Jami Carlacio: 20:59

That that's that is. Well, there's that too, that's the other side of that, isn't it?

Shiraz Baboo: 21:11

Because the entitlement, just because you have inherent value, doesn't entitle you to things no-transcript. People that are truly in touch with their value will find that other people will pay to be in the room with them yeah because they see them right.

Shiraz Baboo: 21:31

So this, this client I had, we got him to stop having problems. And uh, and we, we checked with him next day, no problems whatsoever. He's like, oh my god, this is like a whole new world. This is great, thank you much. And I let him run away and go do his thing. And three weeks later he calls me up and he goes I had a problem today. I'm like, why do you sound so happy about it? And he said, well, the first week of no problems was amazing. I had no problems. It's a whole brand new experience. I was just loving it. The second week there was like anxieties coming up. It's like, well, when's the shoe going to drop? Like, yeah, it's been over a week now, there must be something coming up. And so this week it's just been full on what the hell? And so finally a problem dropped and I got to solve it and I felt amazing and I said you're describing withdrawal.

Jami Carlacio: 22:21

Yes, I was just going there with that. I was just thinking this is withdrawal. Yeah, yeah.

Shiraz Baboo: 22:27

So he had been addicted to solving problems. Whenever he solved the problem, he got a hit of dopamine in his system. His body is now three weeks without that dopamine hit. It's a full on withdrawal so he needed to create a problem so he could get his chemical fix. It was a physical addiction.

Jami Carlacio: 22:44

Right, and that's that homeostasis. The body got used to all of that dopamine and then it needs it, it needs it, it needs it yeah.

Shiraz Baboo: 22:53

And the thing is, a lot of people don't realize that they are doing this. You're in addiction to your struggle. You're not actually addicted to the struggle itself. You're addicted to the feelings that come along with that struggle. Look how hard I'm working. Or some people, it's the compassion they get from other people. So you're hanging out with Fred and Fred says I see how hard you've been working. I wish you had more success. Keep going, It'll come through for you. And that feels amazing. Fred loves you. But if you suddenly have this breakthrough and have the success, Fred's not going to say that to you anymore. You're going to lose that source of love.

Jami Carlacio: 23:28

Yes.

Shiraz Baboo: 23:29

Right.

Jami Carlacio: 23:29

So then you continue to perpetuate struggles so that Fred and Nancy and Joe they're all like oh my God, keep going, keep working hard, we're here to support you. Yeah, so I think I recall saying this to you earlier in our conversation before that in adult children of alcoholics they call that the inner drug store, and so we are addicted to a particular emotion.

Shiraz Baboo: 23:53

Yes.

Jami Carlacio: 23:54

And that could be shame, it could be guilt, it could be, you know, whatever. It is pity anger, pity anger. And so we will do, unconsciously, we will do the thing that gives us the hit to get that emotion. Because we are so addicted to it, because we've had it for so long, our body thinks that's normal. He's addicted to receiving those feelings of compassion for people or something.

Shiraz Baboo: 24:25

Yeah. And once people get this, then you can treat your behaviors and you can treat your reality in a completely different way. Because how you look at it, and if you're starting to start to see success in your life and then it starts to drop off, instead of saying what am I doing wrong, what am I forgetting, what am I missing, why am I not getting clients, or whatever, you're like, oh, am I in withdrawal? And if you're in withdrawal, then you do whatever you did to get out of it and get out of it again. So then, instead of going yo-yo in your results, you'll start to go up, start to come down, catch yourself in withdrawal and continue to go up. Catch yourself in withdrawal, continue to go up. Start to come down, catch yourself in withdrawal and continue to go up. Catch yourself in withdrawal and continue to go up, and that creates an amazing life.

Shiraz Baboo: 25:08

And if you continue to do this long enough, then you get addicted to the continual increase in success and happiness and everything else.

Jami Carlacio: 25:15

Right, right, I'm thinking about people who feel depressed and people who have been diagnosed, say, with clinical depression or a different mental illness. But I'm thinking depression because when you're depressed it is very hard to think positively, it is hard to think things will be different, it's hard to think you're worthy and it is hard to work with people and tell them that this is your depression talking and it's not actually true. It's just what your brain is telling you and you don't have to believe that. And I've been talking to people about these neural pathways because when you were talking about the withdrawal and stop, it's the same thing with our thinking, right, if we can learn to recognize when we're thinking a certain way that's leading to a behavior or a hit or whatever, and we can say, oh, oh, stop, stop, and I think of it as heading something off at the pass. So if you've got different neural pathways in your brain and the well-traveled one is the one with the addiction and all of the negative consequences of that addiction, we have to be able to rethink everything.

Jami Carlacio: 26:37

And that's where positive intelligence and emotional intelligence comes in, because it is all about really reframing your reality.

Shiraz Baboo: 26:46

It is. And one thing, just because you're talking about depression, an interesting story with my book how to Rewrite Reality is one of my friends gave it to his son who had been depressed for three years and he came out of the depression after reading the book.

Jami Carlacio: 27:04

Wow.

Shiraz Baboo: 27:05

And I told that story to another friend of mine and she's like I, have a son that's depressed. So she gave the book to him and he came out of depression.

Jami Carlacio: 27:12

Okay, All right Well.

Shiraz Baboo: 27:13

I'm going to be buying that for my son, so so how did?

Jami Carlacio: 27:18

so how long did it take you to write this book? Three months, okay. So it really you to write this book.

Shiraz Baboo: 27:22

Three months.

Jami Carlacio: 27:24

Okay, so it really almost wrote itself. Huh, because that's not a very long time. It took me a long time to write the last one I wrote.

Shiraz Baboo: 27:31

Okay, so here's how you write a book quickly. You tell people what date it's going to be on.

Jami Carlacio: 27:37

I know, yeah, yeah, and you've got no choice, right yeah?

Shiraz Baboo: 27:42

Yeah, so, yeah, so, yeah. So I put that announcement because I had a book writing coach and he's just like get the cover designed, Put the cover out on Facebook and Instagram and stuff and say coming and put the date, and now you're committed.

Jami Carlacio: 27:57

Yeah.

Shiraz Baboo: 27:58

And I went further. I actually created a workshop around the book.

Jami Carlacio: 28:02

Oh, that's great, I actually created a workshop around the book.

Shiraz Baboo: 28:04

Oh, that's great the workshop. You'll get a copy of the book and I didn't actually have the book ready by the end of the workshop. I had two thirds of the book written.

Shiraz Baboo: 28:12

And the last third was just points. So what I ended up doing was I was teaching from the book on the first two days of three day workshop and the last day I was teaching from the points I'd had written for the book and I had it recording and I did voice to text. Oh, that's perfect. A third of the book was written in one day, thanks to me having a workshop. So now I do a book, I'm just going to do a workshop and just voice to text the whole workshop.

Jami Carlacio: 28:41

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Text the whole workshop yeah, yeah, absolutely. And then you need a good editor to smooth out all the kinks in the way that we talk and have different verbal tics and everything. But that sounds great. I like that. Yeah, I think you're right, though, with the book that I did. I'm an academic writer, so my book is on Black Women in History and I did talk about the book a lot and I was determined not to quit even when things got in the way. But because I kept saying I have this book, I have this book, there's this book, it's going to get written, and I just kept going on it. It did get, it did get finished, but it took more than three months. It was like a five-year project.

Shiraz Baboo: 29:30

Sometimes it takes that long.

Shiraz Baboo: 29:32

I've got some books that are in development They've been, they've been, I've worked on them for years and other books I just knock them off. I did a young adult fantasy novel that took about three months and that fantasy novel that took about three months and that was 108 000 words. Oh, that's a lot. Yeah, I would go to work, uh, work eight to ten hours a day, come home and write for six hours, except on the weekends where I wrote for 12 hours oh, oh, I'm tired just thinking of that but it was.

Shiraz Baboo: 29:59

It was a passion project, like I enjoyed writing it, and so it was just I couldn't wait to get home from work to keep writing.

Jami Carlacio: 30:09

Yeah.

Shiraz Baboo: 30:10

And luckily I had a group of friends and I said I'm going to give you chapters every week. Give me feedback on the chapters and be honest, because if you say it's great and I put this book out in the world and they say it sucks, I'm coming after you.

Jami Carlacio: 30:23

That's right.

Shiraz Baboo: 30:29

But I was getting such great feedback that that again was a fix I wanted my feedback from them every week, and so then, three months later, it's done.

Jami Carlacio: 30:36

Yeah, all right, I have a memoir in my head and I guess I need to start getting my fix, which is I've already designed the cover of the memoir, I have the title and I have even got the chapters in my head. I just haven't sat down to put words to paper. But I think I should take some advice here and just speak it.

Shiraz Baboo: 30:57

Yep.

Jami Carlacio: 30:58

And then I can edit it later.

Shiraz Baboo: 31:00

Yep, and if you've got people that are willing to review it, tell them I'm'm going to put out a chapter or two chapters each week and can you review it for me. And then now you've got accountability, you've got your feedback, you're creating your own addiction to writing the book. Right, if we know we're going to get addicted, we might as well use it positively.

Jami Carlacio: 31:18

Yeah, exactly. And so, yeah, our brains are always going to be looking for something, so why not teach it to look for something good?

Shiraz Baboo: 31:27

Yes, exactly.

Jami Carlacio: 31:28

And you know again, with substances whether it's heroin or pot or alcohol or benzos or methamphetamine, whatever we've trained our brains to think that's good for it, even when our body suffers and our life suffers and we lose things. But our brain doesn't know that. Our brain says but I want this thing because I'm used to having it, so teach it that it can have something good.

Shiraz Baboo: 31:55

Yeah, it can have something better.

Jami Carlacio: 31:57

Yeah, way better, yeah. And again I go back to that inner drugstore and I remember picking fights with my ex-fiancee because I felt good when he was mad at me. And that was my hit was back in the 90s. So this was a long long time ago, when I was still living with this inner drug store and I needed to feel bad to feel good. But I don't do that anymore. I don't pick fights to feel good, trying not to pick fights, yeah, but it's a really important point.

Jami Carlacio: 32:40

And so now it sounds important point, and so now it sounds the way you describe. It sounds easy, is it easy?

Shiraz Baboo: 32:55

It's simple. Okay, it's not necessarily easy, so that's, that's the big difference. The secret to life is incredibly simple, but if it was easy, everyone would have everything they want.

Jami Carlacio: 33:00

Yeah.

Shiraz Baboo: 33:01

Right, so you have. Like we talked about earlier, you have to be prepared to go on the journey.

Jami Carlacio: 33:05

Yeah.

Shiraz Baboo: 33:08

It takes 21 days to build a habit.

Jami Carlacio: 33:12

Okay.

Shiraz Baboo: 33:13

It takes six months to get into a full-on addiction or get out of a full-on addiction, and it takes I think it's 10 years for it to become what we call institutionalized, in which it's almost impossible to shift.

Jami Carlacio: 33:28

Okay.

Shiraz Baboo: 33:29

Right. So and this is the thing, I have a program. It's a year-long program and for the most part, people have shifts and get into new addictions during the program better addictions. However, the ones that struggle typically try to get out of the program at month six, just when that thing is about to lock in. For the new thing, they're trying to go back to the old way, and so they'll have an excuse like I suddenly don't have any money and I can't make payments, or I got sick, or I'm having problems with the family, so I can't keep attending the events and whatever it is to get out and go back to the old addiction, their bodies freak out.

Shiraz Baboo: 34:05

And like I said, it's not a lot of them, but when they do, it's always around that six-month mark right when the addiction is going to be replaced.

Jami Carlacio: 34:16

Wow, yeah, that's really important information because a lot of people you hear this phrase don't quit before the miracle happens. And I think a lot of times we get tired and you can kind of see the finish line is there. But oh man, getting to that last 100 yards sometimes can feel so hard. But that doesn't mean we have to sprint. You know, you can still get across the line. You just don't necessarily have to sprint. I think we're often hard on ourselves as human beings, you know we so much. Yeah.

Shiraz Baboo: 34:58

It's, it's funny, the inner dialogue we have with ourselves. And one of the things I say is is would you ever talk to a two-year-old the way you talk to yourself?

Jami Carlacio: 35:08

Yeah.

Shiraz Baboo: 35:09

And they're like oh, hell, no. And I'm like well, why don't you talk to yourself like you talk to a two-year-old? Be encouraging, be loving, have that dialogue with yourself.

Jami Carlacio: 35:19

Yeah, yeah, exactly yeah. I tell people. I say, would you talk to your best friend that way? And the answer is always no. I want to say well then, you need to treat yourself like you would treat your best friend.

Shiraz Baboo: 35:34

Yeah.

Jami Carlacio: 35:36

Yeah, and I think this world is kind of sick right now, but I refuse to believe that all is lost. In other words, I believe in miracles and I'm not even sure they're really miracles. They just seem like miracles because we've decided that they're so far-fetched that we can't even believe it's going to happen.

Shiraz Baboo: 36:01

But I mean, I believe in miracles because I see them happen every single day, and so a miracle is basically when you set an intention and, without any real effort on your part, it just manifests into your life.

Jami Carlacio: 36:14

Yeah.

Shiraz Baboo: 36:15

And so you could have miracles on a small stegale. Or even just setting that intention for a better world, you start to see it manifest around you.

Jami Carlacio: 36:24

You know, we have those magnifying minds, yeah.

Shiraz Baboo: 36:26

Right, we those magnifying minds.

Jami Carlacio: 36:27

Yeah Right, we have magnifying minds. So if you look for problems, that's what you see. If you look for solutions, that's what you see. Yes, and that's why you know a lot of people quit reading the paper or watching the news because they're fed a diet of disaster and bad news and tragedy, and it's enough to put anybody in the bed and not want to come out.

Shiraz Baboo: 36:56

The crazy thing is they actually came out with good news stations.

Jami Carlacio: 37:02

I know they did, but are they? How popular are they?

Shiraz Baboo: 37:05

They're not popular because people are looking for the drama.

Jami Carlacio: 37:09

Exactly, exactly, I know, and and so bad news and danger cells. I used to teach a course on the media and a course called. It was like media and democracy in the digital age, and one of the things, uh, one of the units I taught was called the Culture of Fear, and this wonderful sociologist, barry Glasser, wrote this book called the Culture of Fear, and the first chapter is all about how the media sells us a steady diet of fear, sells us, feeds us, and we consume the fear and then we feel like we need more information because I'm afraid. So I need to know more. I need to know more. I mean, even just with Hurricane Milton, for example, or any kind of natural disaster, you have somebody outside in the war zone reporting on the war zone and 10 minutes later they're giving you another report, as if something major has shifted. But it's constant, it's constant, it's constant and it's crazy.

Shiraz Baboo: 38:16

It's crazy making so I think what might work and I don't know if they've tried this yet is if they do stories that are nerve wracking, that are scary, that are all these things that make you feel these emotions, but have happy endings.

Jami Carlacio: 38:32

Yeah Well, we like those for sure.

Shiraz Baboo: 38:35

I mean, that's the plot of every Hallmark movie.

Jami Carlacio: 38:38

Yeah, but that is something.

Shiraz Baboo: 38:43

if there were new stories that fit that formula, that would be a popular news station, because then they get their hit, but then they also get their oh, it turned out great, and they feel good afterwards.

Jami Carlacio: 38:54

Yeah, I think that's why we like those judicial shows, because we get the crime is here and then the detectives are on it and they get the bad guy and everyone feels better because somebody got arrested, somebody got justice. We like those things, yeah.

Shiraz Baboo: 39:16

Maybe someone will come out with that news station sometime.

Jami Carlacio: 39:18

Yes, yeah, well, it's so great, just so you know. First of all, please like and subscribe this podcast, because when you do, more people see it and you can see more people like Shiraz on this show and I bring in guests that I try to bring that value to people, because people like you are what changes the world. You know you are a change maker. You know one person at a time and I'll make sure your book is in the show notes and any other things that we should know about you before we sign off and invite the cars into the studio.

Shiraz Baboo: 39:57

Well, not necessarily know about me, but for yourself, be the happiest person in the room.

Jami Carlacio: 40:03

Yeah.

Shiraz Baboo: 40:04

Yeah, see how that affects your life.

Jami Carlacio: 40:06

Exactly, yeah, because we are magnets. What do you want to attract? Yeah, there's a person named elvira hopper and she calls herself a miracle magnet, but she was a crap magnet before her words, her words, and, and so she completely shifted her life around. Oh, that's yeah, I see your posts on Facebook.

Shiraz Baboo: 40:32

She's doing so well. I'm I'm so happy for her right now.

Jami Carlacio: 40:35

Yep, yep, she is, and and she glows.

Shiraz Baboo: 40:38

Yes, she does Absolutely.

Jami Carlacio: 40:40

Yeah, she does, so, yeah, so let's, let's bring the cars in and talk about magic, all right.

Shiraz Baboo: 40:50

Thank you so much for having me on the show.

Jami Carlacio: 40:52

Thank you, thank you so much. Oh, it's magic when I'm with you. Oh, it's magic. Oh it's magic. Oh, you know magic, you know it's true and that is our show. Thank you so much, shiraz, and we'll see you at the PQ Gym. That's the place where you start learning to reroute your neural pathways and build your emotional intelligence muscle. Take care everybody. Bye.